IDK Syndrome excuses no one. We’ve all been in this situation. It feels awkward when you suddenly don’t know what to say. You may have encountered an acquaintance or a new friend and you are trying to get into this “getting to know you” chat and poof! you forgot the words you need to say.
This is completely normal. It might feel daunting when you are struggling to find the next words to say but with few strategies, you need not worry about this anymore.
Start with Open-Ended Questions and Build the Conversation from There
There is a saying that ?Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.? ~Shirley Maclaine
When someone approaches you, the very first thing you need to do is say the magic word, HI. This, for many people, is the first barrier but once you break the ice, you should be fine.
It is a great practice if you know a thing or two about current events. Beaking news is good conversation starters and you may learn a thing or two about them. If you are stuck and you got nothing left to say, ask them something about them. From hobbies, travels, careers, plans, and so on. People love talking about themselves and so opening this set of questions will really get them engaged and going on for hours.
By taking the time to listen to them and understand what they are trying to say, it makes them feel that you care. This builds a connection.
Learn to Balance Your Conversations
You don’t want to be that someone who annoyingly asks endless questions or someone who just won’t respond or someone who never bother to ask a question, remember to keep things balanced.
The best method to use in this scenario is the IFR method: Inquire, Follow Up, Relate. While you listen to that person, try to identify elements that you have in common. Once you found that moment, you can use the IFR method and stick with that element that you have in common. Use their responses to keep things going.
Treat The Person as Your Friend
When you feel that you are at the point where you no longer know what to say smile, shake that incoming awkward feeling and shift your focus to the conversation and be comfortable as if you are already close friends. When you are warm and friendly, they will like you and will talk to you more. This will be your chance to practice your conversation skills and you will no longer run out of things to say.
IDK Syndrome: A Final Note
I hope with the few tips listed above will help you feel comfortable when you talk to someone. Don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t go perfectly the next few times. This takes time and practice but once you get the hang of it, the easier it becomes and you will be the one who will confidently initiate conversations when you are in one of your social events.