Is your partner perfect? Probably not, and I’ll bet you aren’t either. The point of a relationship isn’t to be perfect; it’s to be with someone you love and who loves you. A good partner puts in the work to make that relationship work. Here are five signs that your partner is making an effort to make your relationship last.
1. They Communicate
Communication is the key to a good relationship: people say that a lot, but what does it really mean, on a practical level?
Communicating means that when there’s an issue, they talk about it. They don’t make passive aggressive comments about what might be wrong, or mope around miserably until you ask them what’s up; they tell you what’s wrong. And if it’s something you can work on together, you do.
2. They Respect Your Privacy
No one should be snooping through anyone’s phone! If they don’t trust you not to cheat on them, why should you trust them? Moreover, why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t trust you with something that serious?
It goes deeper than just that, though. Say you have a doctor’s appointment for something that you don’t want to talk about. You shouldn’t have to explain where you’re going beyond “an appointment.” What’s private is private–period.
3. They Respect Your Autonomy
You are your own person, and deserve to be treated as such. If you’re going on a vacation alone or with only your family, they shouldn’t be angry (or whiny) when they can’t come with you.
It’s a huge red flag when a partner wants you two to be attached at the hip. It’s a good sign when your partner encourages your independence, be it financial, social, or otherwise.
4. They Don’t Feel Insecure When You Hang Out With Your Friends
This is a biggie. Your partner doesn’t have to be friends with your friends, or even like hanging out with them. But they should be supportive of you having friendships that don’t necessarily involve them in a huge way. Sure, sometimes clingy can be cute, but not when you say “clingy” and really mean “possessive”.
This goes right along with respecting your autonomy. Your relationship is important, but so is your life outside of your relationship, which includes your friends. If your partner insists that you give up spending time with your friends in order to spend more time with them, you might have some reevaluating to do.
5. They Apologize When They Mess Up (and forgive you when you do the same)
This doesn’t mean “Whoops–I cheated on you! Forgive me?” That should be an immediate deal-breaker. This is more like, “Hey, I’m sorry for ignoring you earlier. I was in a really bad mood because of work–do you want to talk now?” That’s a good way to resolve a potential conflict: with a simple but heartfelt apology. It’s that easy. Or, at least, it should be.
This goes both ways, too. If you snapped at them earlier and then apologized (reasonably and sincerely), they should forgive you unless they have a genuine reason not to. Pettiness is not a genuine reason.
If it seems like you or your partner need to work on this stuff, that’s okay. No one is born knowing how to navigate romance and relationships. But anyone can learn how, and what’s important is that the both of you are working things out together.??